Sometimes things are going to be awkward no matter what you do. But it’s when people try to work through that and put pieces back together that makes being awkward ok. Life isn’t perfect, so don’t pretend it is. And never be afraid to say you’re sorry if you’re in the wrong.
No one deserves to be treated like crap. So even if you love him with all you've got, with every fiber of your being and with so much passion that it hurts to think about it, you need to forget what you want and remember what you deserve.
Forever since i actually posted something on here that i just free wrote. I have nothing going on in my life right now, but have SO MUCH to talk about. I like having things to talk about. I hate that I can’t talk about them with everyone and be accepted from it. Like for instance, I have my best friend whom I hate. Yes, A best friend of which I have a sole love and hatred for. This guy, I could never tell anything to because he’d just spit it back at me and make me regret having said it. He brings out insecurities that I didn’t even know I had and it worries me why we are even friends. By not telling him anything though, he is never given the chance to do that and We can lovingly hate each other. That’s just one example. I’ve got a ton more. Enough about those those. I want to go on about something else just because right now my fingers are moving so quickly across the keyboard the sound is making my night :). Well, has anyone ever gotten stuck in a loop? I don’t mean a physical loop. I am talking about a thought process that continues and causes frustration or exitement or a variety of other emotions such as extreme sadness, overwhelming urges to jump up and down and twitch and to go *eeeeeeee* really loud and make an odd movement w/ your head like you were just bugzapped…by a bugzapper…(redundant? yes). I get myself into these loops and on occasion find myself unable to just stop thinking about them and get out. it usually is the same kind of loops too. the one where I’ll think of how I am perceived not by others, but by myself once i commit an action or realize that someone thinks a certain way of me. Like if someone calls me an asshole, i think about it and realize that in some way shape or form I have to be an asshole or else how could I be perceived as one? and then i keep going from there to things like ” if i see myself as an asshole then doesn’t that mean I AM an asshole. and if i don’t see it am i being blind to a fact and avoiding the truth and becoming a hypocrit on my own creed?” and over and over i get answer like yes and no and no and yes and my favorite “yeah, so what?” because i have to answer myself because in all reality i cannot help it. does anyone ever get like this? of course they do. of course someone out there and most likely a majority of people out there get like i do. why do i assume this? well, to assume would make an ‘ass’ out of ‘u’ and ‘me’, so i never assume but i just did but i’m not a hypocrit but i just was hypocritical. anyways. walking contradictions lead to certain facts and they tend to be very general ones that allow me to make vast assumptions about everyone ever because i can. like how everyone thinks the way I do. how can i know though? well, it’s because I am normal? how can i know I am normal, because I think I am not, and I am always wrong. really? no, but that works here so i’m going to use it, but if what i said about me always being wrong is true then….infinite loops suck. anyways. people everywhere think constantly all the time about nothing and everything and they want to share those ideas, if not with everyone, then with someone very important. I feel like everyone i know is important because hey, if they are not important what am i?
I feel better after typing all that. I actually want to keep going. like to talk about how the best way to fall asleep at night is to…. see i cant’ even tell YOU, tumblr. It’s not hard to guess. and you probably all in some way shape or form completely disagree/agree with what i’m not telling you is the actual best way to fall asleep. but enough about that. it’s starting to not make sense and that means that my freewriting is turning into free running typing nothingness which is quite fun because it makes me feel super human somewhat like as if i were an amazing superhero with superfast typing abilities that allowed me to do supercool stuff to save people and eventually the world. :D. i really do just love typing right now. i can’t stop . i think i could just type all night about how i love typing just to satisfy my urge to type and to get everyone who reads this understand OVER AND OVER AGAIN that i LOVE TO TYPE :D lol. yeah. i just realized i’m being quite annoying, but i’m only annoying if i believe I am, which i do because running away from it will only hurt in the end. just like running away from me being a hypocrite. even if i don’t intend to be one, in the end everyone eventually has to be or they won’t really have experienced much of anything in the real world. I do my best to not contradict myself. when i do i do my best to see that I did and try to get people to just understand it is unavoidable at times to do such things, so they shouldn’t hold it against me. lol. which is funny, because i might one day hold it against them. which would be a very very hypocritical thing to do. :/ which is weird because one of the things about….yeah i can’t even start typing about that because i know in the end it will just make me sad and miserable. wow. that last sentence was a real fun one to type. i need to find a site that just lets me type up people’s papers so i can get paid to do this shit. lol. yeah.
someone once told me i have a beautiful way of typing. that when i type it’s like sex to their ears. :) another told me that my typing sounded pretty. lol. what a dramatic difference right? well in the end all i can do is guess that I have a pretty cool ability to type. and i do. so i do it. i love to do it. in fact i love to do it so much that this next sentence i’m not going to use any backspace commands so all my flaws are prevalant.
i don’t really know what to dype here but i guessthis will be what it is. see there. i got so excited from the word type, i went “D” kind of like when you are really excited and you go “WEEEE” :)> and i “guess this” which is together is strangely relevant because guess this is like “guess what” which is something you tell someone when you wanna tell them it in a very excited fashion or a fashion that is overall a “i’m gonna tell you this because it made me go “OH”. hopefully in a good way. anyways. i have to stop, but not before i type about how much i love typing more than i do writing. writing takes so much energy to put so little down while typing can do all of that so much faster and it has an erase feature unlike any other….well typing on a computer does. not many cool amazing awesome old school typewriters have the whiteout feature. and if they do, they don’t deserved to be used by whomever is using them because lets face it; typewriters are for those who are pros at the keyboard. who make one or two mistakes within ten pages of typing. :-p. made me think of S******. well, i feel much much much better now that i’ve gotten this typing off of my fingers. :)
Many boys out there wish they could be that guy for their girlfriend. You know, the perfect guy. They wish they had a voice to sing you to sleep. They wish they had enough rhythm in their feet to dance for you. They wish they had a creative mind so they could write breath-taking letters to you. They wish they had an attractive body for you to drool over. They wish they could be like the guy in those romantic movies that say the perfect thing at the perfect time to the perfect girl. But some of us aren’t that gifted, simply because life created us just the way we are. It kills us inside that we can’t provide more for our love. But we have effort. So please love the way we sing off-pitch. Please love the way we stumble awkwardly on the dance floor. Please love the way we steal lines from Dr. Seuss. Please love the way we joke about our one-pack. Please love the way we stutter due to the butterflies. We might not be that guy in your dreams, but understand you’re that girl in our dreams.
You are a Judge Empath, one who is a “truthsayer”. You can tell truth from lies, good from evil. You do not tolerate wrong doing. You are a defender of the good and the innocent. You are kind and merciful but do not play foolish games. (from “The Book of Storms” by Jad Alexander at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Empaths/)
An empath can sense the truth behind the cover and will act compassionately to help that person express him/herself, thus making them feel at ease and not so desperately alone.
Empaths are often very affectionate in personality and expression, great listeners and counselors (and not just in the professional area). They will find themselves helping others and often putting their own needs aside to do so. In the same breath, they can be much the opposite. They may be quiet, withdrawn from the outside world, loners, depressed, neurotic, life’s daydreamers, or even narcissistic.
Here are the listeners of life. Empaths are often problem solvers, thinkers, and studiers of many things. As far as empaths are concerned, where a problem is, so too is the answer. They often will search until they find one—if only for peace of mind
“I have this strange feeling that I’m not myself anymore. It’s hard to put into words, but I guess it’s like I was fast asleep, and someone came, disassembled me, and hurriedly put me back together again. That sort of feeling.”—Haruki Murakami || Sputnik Sweetheart (via youjustyou)
they want real conversations & love. we want cute dates together, nothing expensive. the truth is we only want to be with you. we want to hold hands & lie beneath the stars we want to be able to say something stupid & not worry about it & we want a guy that will love us for nothing but being us, real plain & simple.
Hope you see this and reblog it. You are amazing. Awesome. Smart and ton of other things. More importantly, you are an individual that should not be kept down by labels and expectations. saying that…awesome and amazing aren’t expectations. you just are those. :).